“I love you, gentlest of Ways,
who ripened us as we wrestled with you.
You, the great homesickness we could never shake off,
you, the forest that always surrounded us,
you, the song we sang in every silence,
you dark net threading through us,
on the day you made us you created yourself,
and we grew sturdy in your sunlight…
Let your hand rest on the rim of Heaven now
and mutely bear the darkness we bring over you.”
(Rainer Maria Rilke’s poem “Ich liebe dich, du sanftestes Gesetz” is excerpted from Rilke’s “Book of Hours: Love Poems to God”, translated by Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy.)
I don’t know how long we’ve been listening now but for quite some time we’ve spent Sabbaths with our ears and hearts and minds tuned to podcasts of the National Public Radio program “Speaking of Faith“. If you’ve not experienced it yet, oh, I encourage you to do so. I’ve known of the program for quite some time but wasn’t interested in another “conversation about faith”. I suppose you could say that’s how calloused I was feeling about such things and their sometimes (or maybe, often?) close-minded damage. Good subject, good intentions, bad results.
So even when Ben hopped happily on daily diet swollen with many, many podcasts and talked excitedly about this “Speaking of Faith” my reaction remained fairly disinterested. But he’s a persuasive fellow and was so very excited that I couldn’t keep my back turned for too long, really.
All that said, this has come to my dry crackedness like a waterhose that visits the hanging plants outside my door. [I think I better water them when I'm done here.]
This morning we listened to “Approaching Prayer” which was made available on the SOF website May 20 this year. (The website is really fantastic. For each podcast you can listen to the podcast of course, as well as read the transcripts; get the “Particulars” with full-text of referenced readings, images, intervening music details, and links to other references; other resources; the interviewer’s journal; and credits. As a visual person, I appreciate readily finding information about something I’ve heard so I reread and continue to process it long after my ears get bored or forget.) Ben has been telling me I really needed to hear this but we didn’t get to it together until today. Oh, it was so good.
The interviewer Krista Tippett spoke with Anoushka Shankar, a musician and the daughter of Ravi Shankar (considered one of the world’s greatest sitar players); Stephen Mitchell, a writer and translator; and theologian Roberta Bondi, a professor emeritus at Emory University and author of books about how she learned to pray when she discovered the writings of the earliest Christian monastics. Their varied backgrounds provide an intricate combination of shared experiences with prayer.
I’m having a hard time expressing what I’m still processing from it. I’m glad for this because it means I’m still thinking and I’m thinking about things differently. Yes, that’s it. Speaking of Faith moves me to thinking in different and welcome places. Oh, it’s so incredible when we think from new places. Here’s a few more samples of the beauty I’m still savoring and attending to.
“What is prayer?
I make a list:
- Praise
- Gratitude
- Begging/pleading/cutting deals
- Fruitless whining and puling
- Focus
There the list breaks off; I had found my word. Prayer only looks like an act of language; fundamentally it is a position, a placement of oneself. Focus. Get there, and all that’s left to say is the words. They come: from ancient times (here, the round of Psalms, wheeling through the seasons endlessly in the Office), from the surprisingly eloquent heart (taciturn Thomas last night with his intercession, precise as a poet), from the gush and chatter of the day’s detail longing to be rendered.
So what is silence?
Silence speaks, the contemplatives say. But really, I think, silence sorts. An ordering instinct sends people into the hush where the voice can be heard. This is the sorting intelligence of poetry, marked by the unbroken certainty of rhythm, perfect pitch, the placing of things in right order as in metrical form. Not rigid categories, but the recognition of a shape always there but ordinarily obscured by—what? By noise, which is ourselves trying to do the sorting in an order that may be a heroic effort but is bound to be a fantasy.
Silence, that inspired dealer, takes the day’s deck, the life, all in a crazy heap, lays it out, and plays its flawless hand of solitaire, every card in place. Scoops them up, and does it all over again.
And the dark night of the soul?
Is the joker constantly turning up? It’s in every hand.”
(Excerpted from Patricia Hampl’s book “Virgin Time: In Search of the Contemplative Life”.)
The Summer Day
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”
(By Mary Oliver. I originally discovered this poem on Katie’s blog after she heard it read by Garrison Keillor ON THE SAME DAY that Ben shared it with me after he heard it in this SOF podcast. I love how good things trickle and rush at us together some days.)
Robert Bondi, speaking to Krista Tippett:
“…Let me tell you a story about when I first started teaching in the seminary where I teach now. And I would just find when I came home at the end of the day I would be so exhausted that I could hardly contain myself. And I would be met at the car, usually, pulling into the driveway by my two children and my husband, who would all come out to tell me all the things that had gone wrong in the day, like the washing machine had overflowed and the rug in the dining room was soaking wet. And I would think, “Oh, I just want to go back to school.” I would come into the house, and Richard and I would fix supper, and then we would sit down and eat and I would fall asleep with my head in the mashed potatoes. But the fact is that I knew all along that, however it was, it was better that I was there than that I wasn’t there, that my family needed me, that being part of a family means showing up for meals. And prayer is like that. However we are, however we think we ought to be in prayer, the fact is we just need to show up and do the best we can do. It’s like being in a family.”
So beautiful I’ll be working it over in my mind for a long while.